i'll pack my things and leave you behind
the problem with being brave or dreaming big is that you'll be on your own, with no shoulder to lean on.
if you don't know me already, i have been trying hard to get out of my cage. i never found my tribe fully and have always felt left behind even when among friends because i can't kinda relate to them due to my bizarre life. all the people around me seem so happy with their lives. they want to be with their families. so it makes sense they don't preach work and study as much as i do. mind you they are all good at studies too.
well i did not begin writing to talk about this. the thing is only those who have been through the stages you have been, had similar struggles, are now at a good position, can genuinely celebrate your success. because only they know what it takes to get there and are really happy and proud of you to make it till there.
i have this urge to pack my things and travel the world. but who do i go with? for somebody who says it's the people not the place that matters and someone who also wants to go see the world, i would want a like-minded person to travel with. but where do i find such person? no one in my friend circle or family falls into this category. will i be stuck like this here forever? it scares me.
yesterday, i took a parcel and had a prickly feeling against my arm. i thought it was a stapler pin or something. any sane guy would put it down and check but i, who is so acquainted with mental pain, couldn't bother much about it. later when i finally saw after the payment was done- a frostbite?!! there was dry ice inside the parcel. there's a black mark on my arm now, which i absolutely hate. and the fact that all this happened after my tooth injury(the steel bottle which i was possessive about for about 10 years or so hit my tooth due an involuntary jerk in my arm when i was alone in pg one day, was prolly due to anxiety or dozen other undiagnosed diseases i have). my front tooth is now discolourizedT-T. i used to love my teeth.
enough of sobbing. i don't do anything with the lessons i learn.