now and here
It's almost been a week. The classes, as I had expected, are a little gibberish to me(if not entirely). But hey, at least I got to know about Game Theory! It's interesting and i'll try later again to try to wrap my head around it.
It feels as if all am doing is eating. Things feel a bit too mundane. Yesterday, i went to Hutment but the person i was meaning to talk to wasn't there. I went walking around the residential area and it was nice. I was admiring all the huge tall trees and their textures telling stories that the trees have survived. The trunks of the trees that have been cut are so wide and huge. I never got to see all these in my life till now. The children playing around and the people around, just reminded me of the life i've been robbed off. I read the plot of "Crime and Punishment" by Fyodor Dostoevsky while walking. The ending didn't quite make sense. Any person in that state would have ended his life?
Marine Drive gives a perspective of the sea's vastness. The institute is situated prolly at the very end so it ends up abruptly and is not very appealing to me.
i went to walk with my roomie and life seems good. to be in the moment. swinging. in open air. not worrying about what would come next. not worrying about people who are troubled by themselves and their lives. this is w.r.t a reel my sister showed some days ago- change the climate.
And yeah also, it rained cats and dogs two days ago. Everything was damp and i was battling cold. I thought things would never get better but here am all happy because of the bright sun offering all the warmth today morning.
My raincoat got blown away while crossing the road. I don't know how to feel about that but i wanna remember that i guess. I saw double decker bus, Pizza by the bay, Leopold Cafe, the things i only see online or in books in childhood. I did not at all like the crowd(quality) at Gateway of India. Especially, the fact that there's Taj Hotel, opposite to it where rich people are having luxury to keep others at bay. Now that i read this, it doesn't make enough sense but i did feel that things were off.
In fact, i never saw myself coming this far so i'm ready to take in whatever that's to come.
Be a wise and mature person. Care about other's feelings and don't be a bitch.
P sent me a reel saying i call when i need help and then abandon and find other people to go to. Excuse me? The person you send- you alright? is already feeling he's being a burden. There's no way he's gonna tell you anything. It's a phase where one can get bitchy(ofc that's not something to be justified). They might end up hurting others. But i don't see any other way. The other person needs greater empathy. well maybe we're all fighting our battles and things are just complex and difficult.
If there's not enough space to grow, you're gonna hurt yourself and the others around you. everything that gets your way, irritates you. So the question, you get rid of yourself OR keep hurting?? My wisdom tooth is causing me great distress again. I hate dentists. I hate dentists.
can you save someone?(without drowning yourself?) (and whatever's that stopping from writing like that??)
Anyways, now and here is nice